04/05/2006: "Absence"

music: none
mood: nauseous

Monday morning. 2:45 AM. I awake because of a fire truck stops a few houses away. The driver was merciful enough to turn off the lights and sirens, but I could hear the engine rumbling outside. I try to fall asleep again. 3:00 AM. I make my first run for the bathroom. Unpleasantness follows. Lather, rinse, repeat with growing intensity. I pray I don't vomit. Around 4:00 AM I'm exhausted and almost back to sleep. Then it's like someone pinged me on the forehead with a ballpeen hammer of wakey-wakey. I bolt for the bathroom and vomit and there is more unpleasantness. Lather, rinse, repeat. I get a bucket involved. The bathroom is a mess. I collapse on the couch and watch some Adult Swim. I hear Dan get up. He comes out, makes some remark about my death-like pallor. I make another break for the bathroom. He makes himself an egg sandwich. I run to the bathroom again. This time I start sobbing uncontrollably when I'm through. I come out of the bathroom with tear-streaked cheeks and tell Dan that I can't stop. He asks if I want to go to the emergency room. I decline. I wander around the house in a stupor. I run to the bathroom again. My entire abdomen is killing me. I tell Dan to take me to the hospital.

At the hospital I am poked several times before they find a vein that's not too dehydrated to run an IV line into. I blow through two bags of fluid, an anti-emetic, and some morphine. The doctor tells me to stop taking the antibiotic I was on for my ear infection and sends me home four hours after I arrive with two more prescriptions for an anti-nausea pill and some Zantac.

I sleep until 4:30 PM.

The pain in my abdomen is getting worse. Sharper. More localized on my lower right side. I'm having a hard time breathing. I've got a fever of 101.3. At 10:00 I eat a piece of dry toast, the first food I've had since Sunday night's dinner. I call a nurse hotline and ask where my appendix is supposed to be. I get my answer. I tell Dan to bring me back to the hospital.

Another IV, some contrast, some morphine, ibuprofin, and a CAT scan later, I'm told my appendix is fine. I go home with two more prescriptions, which I have yet to fill.

I've had quite enough of this shit.

I ate some toast and rice during the day yesterday and a bit of dinner (that was tasty but was hard to keep down).

Today I'm still right on that edge of puking. I ate a breakfast sandwich this morning and that's barely staying in there. It's lunchtime and I'm in no mood to eat anything.

On the upside, my pants barely fit anymore. I think I've lost about 5 inches off my waist.