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07/19/2006: "Fear and loathing"
music: none
mood: annoyed
I live in constant fear.
I have entomophobia with a special nasty accent on arachniphobia. That is, I'm afraid of insects.
I know that it's actually much worse than I let on. Even simple acts like turning on a light switch cause mental anguish at times (is there a bug on the switch? What if I see bugs scatter when the light comes on?). Sometimes I toss and turn trying to get to sleep because I can't stop thinking about the insects that may be lurking in the bedroom.
It's much more than a little fear. This is an honest-to-goodness phobia complete with sweaty palms, thumping heart, dizziness, not being able to breathe, freezing, uncontrollable automatic running, and shaking. One of these days I'm probably going to have a heart attack because of this.
I don't know where this fear comes from. I don't know what to do about it. This isn't exactly something that's covered by health insurance. I'd like to try hypnotherapy, but I don't have the money right now.
I guess I'll keep working on my avoidance skills.
Replies: 12 Comments
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