02/01/2007: "Layman's Review: Manny's Steakhouse"

music: Dan's drumming in the basement
mood: annoyed

So my boss' boss took us out to dinner at Manny's the other night. I had high expectations. Manny's is supposed to be THE place to eat a steak, just as the next door Oceanaire is supposed to be THE place for seafood.

First, the ambiance. I'd describe it as a sort of white linen cafeteria. The bar is cozy and dark (and small) but the dining room is lit up with more fluorescent lights than my office. The walls are sparsely decorated with framed comic panels (??!) and I spied more than a few cheesy fake floral arrangements that would be well at home in great-aunt Edna's basement den. They seated our party of five right next to the entrance, which was also right next to the station where they keep the carts with the selections of the day. The whole time the staff was rolling the cart in and out directly behind me. I think the live lobster was staring me down and trying to get me to put it out of its misery with my butter knife.

Our drinks arrived speedily and a small basket of bread arrived shortly after. There was a light rye and a dark, sweet, raisin-studded bread that was actually pretty good, if not surprisingly sweet.

We started with an appetizer of oysters. I had never had oysters before but I decided that I'd probably do it again. It was strange but good. Decidedly un-snot-like.

The prices were about where I'd expect them to be at a high-end steakhouse. The portions are generous, of course, but I suspect you're paying for quantity over quality. I had the New York Strip ($41.95) and the rest of my table had the 14 oz filet mignon (43.95). We also got a side of the biggest asparagus I've ever seen, which came with hollandaise ($13.95), and mashed potatoes built into a volcano-like situation with sour cream, bacon, cheese, and chives ($8.95).

I asked for my steak medium-rare. It arrived medium on one half and medium-well on the other. The outside was absolutely crusted with salt and maybe a tiny bit of fine ground (read: cheap) pepper. The salt was distracting and the overcooked meat was bland. When I get a good New York Strip I expect it to be tougher than a filet, but the amount of knife sawing I had to do was ridiculous. It wasn't juicy at all and it tasted like a cheap supermarket steak. That is to say, it hardly tasted at all.

If I had been paying for the meal I would have sent it back in a heartbeat. But since I was there in a sort of business dinner situation I didn't want to be that girl.

For dessert we got key lime pie (a huge portion), cheesecake (also huge), and strawberries that shouldn't have cost as much as they did because they were just plain ol' boring supermarket strawberries in a fancy glass. The strawberries came with a plate of a glop of sad, waxy-looking, half melted whipped cream.

Manny's, that's just not right.

Our server was fine and attentive and all, but he did make fun of my girl drink. Points off for that.

If you're looking for a great steak that's worth every penny, check out Murray's.