02/28/2007: "Why I will have a heart attack and die by age 30"

music: Coldplay
mood: frustrated

Me: Right-click on My Network Places on your desktop and go to Properties.
Her: It's thinking...
Her: OK.
Me: Do you see "Local Area Connection"?
Her: ..........no.....
Me: What does the blue bar with the red "X" in it say on the left side?
Her: File, edit, view--
Me: No, above that. The BLUE bar.
Her: My Network Places.
Me: You left-clicked on My Network Places. Close that window and go back out to the desktop.
Her: ..............OK........
Me: RIGHT-click on My Network Places and click Properties.
Her: ...................................OK........
Me: Does that blue bar say "Network Connections"?
Her: My Network Places.
Me: You left-clicked again. Close that window.
Her: .................................................yeah............OK.....
Me: Now. Click on My Network Places with the RIGHT button. JUST ONCE. A menu will pop up.
Her: .....................um.........uh.........Open.
Me: NO! NOT OPEN! CLOSE THAT WINDOW AGAIN.
Her: ....uhh.....................
Me: RIGHT-CLICK ON MY NETWORK PLACES. ONCE. Stop when the menu pops up.
Her: ............
Me: Click on PROPERTIES in that menu.
Her: I don't have a "Properties".
Me: [literally slamming my head repeatedly into my desk]
Me: It's the last thing on that menu.
Her: ...........I don't......
Me: Read to me what's in that menu.
Her: .............Open...........Explore........................................
Her: ...................................................................................
Me: Keep talking to me. What else is in there?
Her: ...................Search For Computers...........Map Network Drive............Create Shortcut, Delete, Rename, Properties--
Me: PROPERTIES! CLICK THERE!
Her: .................OK...........

It's a wonder I don't drink more than I do.