04/18/2007: "This is how we do"

mood: happy

I witnessed the greatest hockey game of my life last night.

We sat in the oohlala Club Level seats. That was my first and probably last time I'll ever sit there. What do you get by paying twice the price for your Club Level ticket? Carpet on the floor. A guy who brings your drinks from the bar. A free program. The company of lots of people who couldn't care less about the game itself.

We did sit in a slightly less lame section in that at least 80% of the people were genuinely excited. Hockey fans? Probably not. Every single time an Anaheim player would get control of the puck someone behind us on both sides would go, "HIT HIM!" Every time. Even the completely inappropriate times, like during a line change. I appreciate the enthousiasm, sirs, but you obviously have no idea that hockey is a game in which things like strategy and planning are involved. This ain't roller derby -- you don't hit someone just because they're standing there. Then there were the lame-os next to and in front of us. Dude next to me was texting on his phone the whole time and lady in front of me looked like she was going to fall asleep. I really think the only reason she didn't get to nod off was because I was screaming my head off behind her.

And hey Ducks fans -- I'm sorry your team is a bunch of punks. Honestly, I'd be embarrassed if I were you. Double-teaming? Suckerpunches? You have got to be kidding me.

And to those refs -- you should all be immediately fired. You cannot just make shit up as you go along. Calling off a goal for interference in the crease is only valid IF THERE'S A GUY IN THE CREASE. Roughing calls are fine IF SOMEONE IS ACTUALLY TOUCHING SOMEONE ELSE. Fighting penalty? Fine, as long as you send the actual fight STARTER to the box. And hey idiots, pay attention. At one point the Ducks' net was completely off for a good minute of regulation. There were more bad calls than good last night. It was pathetic.

Even so, the Wild still played a good clean game and won fair and square. Handily, even.