10/27/2007: "My Durian Experience"

mood: blah

It's not often that I can say that a fruit intrigues me.

I saw Anthony Bourdain tucking into one of these on No Reservations and thus began my fascination. I had to know. But how? It's true, I ~~want~~ need to visit Thailand. But given the current political climate and lack of money on my part, that's not going to happen anytime soon. Ditto Malaysia. So where does a landlocked Minnesotan get their hands on a durian?

United Noodles. Shangri-La of Asian groceries. Greatest grocery store ever. And what do I find in one of the freezer cases? Whole frozen durian. Frozen durian flesh. I couldn't believe my eyes. I picked up the de-husked version (seriously, how the hell was I going to get into that thing if I bought a whole one?) and brought it home to defrost.

By the time I got it home I could kind of, sort of smell something through the shrinkwrapped hard plastic box. And what I could smell wasn't good. Oh well, I was expecting this. When it was defrosted I braced myself and cut into the shrinkwrap. Not so bad. I opened the box. Wow. I can only describe it as skunk spray plus asshole plus raw onions wrapped in rotting meat. I was apprehensive. I was reconsidering my "I'll try anything once (except brains)" policy.

The flesh itself was wrapped tightly in more plastic wrap. That means it would probably smell worse when I unwrapped it. I steeled myself and unwrapped the log of fruit. I grabbed a fork and dug in. It was kind of custardy and stringy. It tasted nothing like it smelled, thankfully. It was kind of like bananas. And onions. In a good way. I think I would have liked the texture more if it was fresh. I could definitely tell that it had been frozen. It was kind of waterlogged. I'm not even going to try to describe the flavor more than I have here. It's something you need to experience for yourself.

Afterwords I had to light a scented candle and douse the whole house in Oust. Was it worth it? Sure! Will I try it again? Only if it's fresh.