1.  Law Of Mechanical Repair: after your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or you will have to go to the bathroom.

2.  Law Of Tools: any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

3.  Law Of Probability: the probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

4.  Law Of The Telephone: when you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

5.  Law Of The Alibi: if you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

6.  Law Of Lanes: if you change lanes in traffic, the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

7.  Law Of Likeability: as soon as you find a product that you like, they will stop making it.

8.  Law Of Close Encounters: the probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

9.  Law Of The Result: when you try to prove to someone that something won't work, it will.

10. Law Of Biomechanics: the severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

11. Law Of Carpets: The chance of an open-faced jam sandwich landing face down on a floor covering is directly correlated to the newness, color, and cost of the carpet.

12. Law Of Logical Argument: anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.